Either We're Alone in the Universe Or Not...

The Voyager Golden Record
Sounds and Images

30 years ago, taking advantage of the favorable alignment of the planets in the late 70s, NASA launched two probes, Voyager 1 and 2, with the goal of studying Jupiter and Saturn. (I'd take time to talk about how amazing the Pale Blue Dot is but I would go on forever.) Once they completed studying Jupiter and Saturn (of which little had previously been known) they continued in different directions and are now on the fringes of our solar system, where the Sun's influence gives way to other galactic bodies. To give you a sense of how far that is, Voyager 2 is now twice as far from the Sun as Pluto and its signals take 14 hours to reach Earth. As of last year, the two spacecraft became the third and fourth human artifacts to escape entirely from the solar system (preceded by Pioneers 10 and 11, which were launched in 1972 and 1973).

Mindful of this mind-boggling fact, the astronomers Carl Sagan and Frank Drake somehow convinced NASA to bolt a gold-plated copper phonograph record to the outer hull of Voyager containing information chosen by a committee chaired by Sagan. This information was etched into gold and is expected to last a billion years, which, as the producer of the record points out in a very Sagan-ian way, is as far in the future as life on earth emerging from the seas was in the past.

If alien cultures or future human civilizations were to intercept the satellite (which is all but impossible, the symbolism of reaching out being the more important aspect here) and were able to figure out how to use the attached record player cartridge they would be greeted by an encoded analog signal that once calibrated would render a series of 115 images (think of a fax machine) followed by greetings in 55 languages, nature sounds, and 90 minutes of music from all over the world as well as printed messages from UN Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim and this one from President Carter:
"We cast this message into the cosmos ... Of the 200 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy, some—perhaps many—may have inhabited planets and space faring civilizations. If one such civilization intercepts Voyager and can understand these recorded contents, here is our message: We are trying to survive our time so we may live into yours. We hope some day, having solved the problems we face, to join a community of Galactic Civilizations. This record represents our hope and our determination and our goodwill in a vast and awesome universe ... This is a present from a small, distant world, a token of our sounds, our science, our images, our music, our thoughts and our feelings. We are attempting to survive our time so we may live into yours."
(One of my favorite things about this record is that they mix in whale songs and bird calls as if they're just one more greeting in another language!)

Overlooking the burst of radio and television signals that are now forever radiating outwards from earth, the idea that these images and sounds may conceivably become the only surviving remnants of our existence makes me giddy with delight and a little choked up. Just listen to Blind Willie Johnson play Dark Was the Night and think of it hurtling through a cold empty darkness you can't even begin to imagine. If I ever cried, I would cry now.

Perhaps one of the most accurate things the project revealed about humanity (or at least Americans) was that when the public got wind that the illustration on the disc included drawings of a nude woman and man, newspapers began receiving angry letters accusing NASA of wasting taxpayer money to send "obscenities" into space. On a further bitter note (and to provide one more reason to get rid of record labels forever), Sagan and the Beatles both wanted to include the song Here Comes the Sun but the Beatles label EMI wouldn't allow it. Seriously, what the fuck? On a side note of a side note, in 2002 the British band Blur (also on EMI) composed a song to be beamed back from the surface of Mars by the Beagle 2 (a British landing spacecraft that was part of the European Space Agency's 2003 Mars Express mission) to signal its safe arrival. Sadly the craft was either lost in transit or malfunctioned on the surface and was never heard from.

So here's the game (more of the photos can be found here): As an alien (and assuming that you can process audio and visual signals in the same frequencies as humans-however unlikely), look at some of the images from the record and extrapolate the existence of the human species, and their location, ecosystem, biology, genetics, reproduction, cultures, societies, mathematics etc. from the following selection of images from those record contains. I can't stop laughing! And keep in mind, these will probably become the only surviving documents of the human race:

In case you didn't notice, one of the first photos of Earth are of Egypt, the Nile and the Red Sea, as if they'd possibly recognize it! (Or would they?)

The infection takes hold!

People become transparent as a parasite develops?

Dolphins fly.

A doctor treating a sick human?

A small human riding an enslaved larger human? Answer: Obviously, since it clearly also has four appendages and a face, therefore human.

Humans first attempt at reaching space.

Humans ambulate by becoming transparent and then tumbling forward.

Earthings eventually grew to be larger than their planet and had to leave:

Fish float in the air or (and this is more likely) there is a separate underwater race of humans...

...that can't touch solid ground and try to catch land-based humans using nets...

...Which is why the land-based humans must erect watchtowers along the waterline:

I prefer to imagine that my tax dollars are only going towards the federal government hiring actors to demonstrate licking, eating and drinking:

This is my favorite picture of the group (it reminds me of my friend Jeremy in 2057) and if they can't understand why it's great than I didn't really want to meet them anyway:


Amazon (Amazon?) has posted three 1 to 3 minute "webisodes" of events in a few characters lives preceding The Wire's (aka the best show ever made) first season. Good luck trying to stretch them out until January 9th:

Young Prop Joe in 1962
Young Omar in 1985
Bunk and McNulty in 2000

And everyone read
the New yorker piece a few weeks ago right?

Rap Charts

This website explains rap songs using graphs and charts:

Oh, and for the uninformed each one links to its respective video!

I Can't Wait to Have Kids

I wish I could remember the name of it but there was a great video piece at PS1 a few years ago of a stay at home dad getting his daughter to act out a shipwreck with him in their kitchen. I wish I could post a clip of it but for all their talk of bringing art to the people and not just a world for the wealthy, why can't museums send an intern around for a day to take a quick, lo-res reference photos and videos of everything in a show? Who would lose out with that? Instead we're kept from taking photos ourselves and unless you buy that $60 catalog you have no way of remembering what you saw, bullshit.

Coolin' Out at the Beach in the Jurassic

The BBC's Walking With Dinosaurs series is literally delightful. This is the first episode I ever saw and the first 30 seconds contains my favorite moment of all. I bought the series sight unseen after having only seen this but then I loaned it to my preschool cousins and couldn't get it back for a year...

Parts Two and Three

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

I haven't been slacking off on this blog, just doing a lot of work behind the scenes. As promised, here is the next installment of what I hope to be an unending stream of mixtapes on a theme. This time it's in honor of Sly Stone (whose 30+ year reunion concert in New York I'm missing tonight) and an assortment of spin-offs, rip-offs, side projects, covers, and a few new songs too:

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) Mixtape Side A
[right-click to download]

Sly & the Family Stone - If You Want Me To Stay

Dennis Coffey & Luchi De Jesus - Love Theme (from the Black Belt Jones OST)

Kool & the Gang - Let the Music Take Your Mind

Please - Sing a Simple Song

Little Sister - Stanga

Outkast - I'll Call Before I Come

Slick Rick - Street Talkin'

Temptations - What it Is

Sly & the Family Stone - Dance to the Music

Lee Dorsey - Occapella

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) Mixtape Side B

[right-click to download]

Betty Davis - Git in There

Sly & the Family Stone - Don't Stop Dancing to the Music

Young Senators - Ringing Bells Pt. 2

Sly & the Family Stone - Trip to Your Heart

Rotary Connection - Respect

Funkadelic - I Bet You

Erykah Badu - Didn't Cha Know

Gix - I'm Just Like You

Little Sister - Somebody's Watching You

One quick note:
Little Sister was one of Sly Stone's little sisters and two other singers that he drafted straight out of High School to sing backup in his newly formed group. The trio recorded a few singles between the releases Stand! and There's a Riot Goin' On on Sly Stone's own imprint Stone Flower. One of their singles, the cover of Sly's of "Somebody's Watching You," was the first major record to have a rhythm track created with a drum machine!


Now this is impressive. This guy has created a size comparison chart of every major space station and starship in science fiction (sadly in 2003 so the new Battlestar Galactica ships aren't included). If you look closely he has also included the real space shuttle and a Yamato Class battleship (a Japanese WWII era boat that remains the largest battleship ever built to this day). Look how tiny the Enterprise is!

"I've got a lot of ideas. I've been working with the staff kids on a cross between a Cuban rhythm and soul dancing..."

Theme music: Archie Bell & the Drells - I Can't Stop Dancing

Ad Rock getting ready to go out in the late 80s over a Beastie instrumental of the Jam's Start!

Getting ready to go out dancing in this anti-dance age is an important ritual. Besides the clothes and the drinks and the drugs, getting your mind and body primed for movement is crucial, but who and where are your role models? Thanks to the endlessly amazing internet you can now cop some new moves from the comfort of your tiny apartment in your even tinier room!

My old stand-by was just to watch a dozen vintage Soul Train clips (especially the Soul Train Line) before going out but fucking Don Cornelius Productions, Inc. has deleted them all off of YouTube. Thankfully, with a little creative searching (Google video), you can still find some. On a side note, most of the performances are unfortunately lip-synced including this Marvin Gaye performance where he's too high (simultaneously funny and sad) to remember to sing along. On the other hand, maybe he's such an amazing singer he's just refusing to play their game and is more than happy to just dance around and hit on the ladies in the front row:

Once and a while however an artist performs live and kills it! Like James Brown did on one of his two ever performances on the show (do I have to point out that the man is so funky he has two drum sets?!):

Do yourself a favor and try and seek out some of the other performances (or just come over to my house and watch them). One of the most surprising is David Bowie doing an interview and performing Golden Years and Fame during his "Thin White Duke" phase where he was subsisting on nothing but peppers, milk and cocaine. Then there's Al Green singing Tired of Being Alone where it had to be pointed out to me that he's wearing a vinyl miniskirt (or are those hot shorts?) and a halter top. The man is dripping with so much sex that he can wear anything and his sexuality won't even be questioned! I spent a weeks pay once to see him and never regretted it. Make sure to put spermicidal cream in your ears so you don't get knocked up.

But all of this is getting away from the point: dancing. As I was saying, the legendary Soul Train Line is probably the most consistent and practical way to learn some new steps. Here are two I could find:

And here's a rare clip of James Brown showing you the moves:

And another one of M.I.A. doing likewise:

[I'm afraid I have to add a caveat to this video. It's a clip from an indie-rock kids show from Washington D.C. called Pancake Mountain that apparently features one of the most annoying TV hosts I've ever seen. Seriously, even kids should be able to tell that this guy sucks. It's so awful it's like when you're making out with a really rad girl and some obnoxious guy keeps walking into the room and turning on the light and drunkenly yelling and maybe puking a little and it happens to be a day where maybe your complexion could be looking a little better and you spent all week planning on how to get this girl alone and...ugh, you get my point. I really want to hurt this guy. So just ignore the him and watch Mathangi Arulpragasam explainin how to "step on the cockroach" and little kids yelling "Yay! We don't have to learn anything!!"]

I guess as long as we're talking about dancing and cockroaches...oh wait, I was confusing The Champs' "Tequila" with "La Cucharacha." Oh well, fuck it. Here's Pee-Wee Herman in maybe the best movie ever made showing how dancing crosses all cultures and helps build bridges:

Now that that's all done and dusted and you're feeling all twitchy come and meet me at one of the many coverless soul dance parties in New York! Or if you're not in the city, schedule your visit around one of these (out of too many to mention):

Smashed Blocked and SoulShaker at Beauty Bar
and Subway Soul at Rififis.

I need to add one last thing. My friend Pearl and I went to see Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings at the Apollo a while back and half-way through an hour and a half of non-stop dancing I started to get a little misty eyed because this was the same Harlem stage where James Brown recorded his legendary album Live at the Apollo in 1962, the recorded performance where he had the audience wrapped around his finger to the point where the smallest whimper would send them into hysterics and allegedly the typical full-throttle Brown performance was supposedly restrained because recording equipment at the time couldn't handle the his scream [see Cold Sweat] . Anyway, for their encore, Sharon Jones and guest Lee Fields did a medley of the album and made me almost cry. One of the best shows I've ever seen.

Don't stop dancing.


The Daily Show just made over 13,000 clips going back to 1999 available for viewing!

Click here then cancel your cable because you don't need it anymore

Another Reason to Live Another Year

I read about this a year ago and then forgot. Michel Gondry's new movie coming out in 2008!

On The Run Mixtape

A little mix for evading the police:

Prince Jazzbo/Crime Doesn't Pay
Ghostface Killah/Run
Dizzee Rascal/Sirens
Jay-Z/99 Problems
Beanie Siegel feat. Cam'ron/Wanted (On the Run)
Beastie Boys/High Plains Drifter
Notorious B.I.G./Gimme the Loot
David Holmes/Pickpockets
Bruce Springsteen/State Trooper

On the Run Mixtape [right-click to download]

My Favorite Moons

This post got a little out of hand. I don’t think I’ll ever write about moons again.

I have to start somewhere so let’s just begin with the formation of the solar system (note: just because the narrator has an English accent doesn’t mean one should forgive the explosion sound effects they added to the video):

Thus we end up with a moonless proto-Earth until roughly 4.5 billion years ago when it is theorized it suffered the biggest blow our planet has ever experienced. Recent chemical research has shown that the Mars-sized planet that Earth collided with was its twin, a planet called Theia (mother of the Moon in Greek mythology) that must have formed in an orbit almost identical to that of the Earth's. The collision was a glancing one, it shattered our Earth, but pulverized the incoming planet. Simulations show the impactor being sprayed out into a shower of orbiting debris. But within a matter of hours, much of this had re-grouped to form a new impactor that smashed into the Earth's surface a second time at which point the impacting object was destroyed. Most of the impactor rained down on to, and became incorporated into, the Earth - the last major component to be integrated into our planet. Scientists call this point “time zero” as anything that had happened to the Earth geologically before would have been erased. The remaining 10% or so of the impactor’s mass was spread out into an incandescent disc around the Earth - a scorching equivalent of Saturn's rings. It was out of this material that the Moon was formed in a matter of decades.

(This is the best animation I could find. It’s from the beginning of the BBC’s Walking With Monsters series so the second half of the clip isn’t exactly pertinent but is definitely awesome)

At this time the moon was 15 times closer than than it is today. If you had been able to stand on the surface of the Earth (although its surface was probably melted down to a depth of 1,000 kilometers, cloaking the Earth in a magma ocean) you would have seen a moon that appeared 15 times larger than it does today.

Fortunately the Moon-forming impact gave the Earth the spin on its axis that now gives us 24-hour days and stirs up the atmosphere so that no part of the Earth is too hot or too cold for life, so don’t knock it.

Google now let’s you peruse the Moon in a Google Maps style format. They also recently offered a 25 million dollar “Lunar X Prize” calling for entrants to land a rover on the moon that will be able to travel at least 500 meters and send high-resolution video, still images and other data back home. Last month NASA announced plans to construct a permanent base on the moon by 2020, a move some consider an essential step towards humankind’s ultimate survival.

Lastly, who can forget the best Onion headline ever.

[1] [2]


Lapetus of Saturn

Saturn’s moon Lapetus has been dubbed “The Walnut Moon” because of a unique ridge that runs 1300 km along its equator, 20 km wide and 13 km high. It was discovered when the Cassini spacecraft imaged Lapetus on December 31, 2004. Parts of the ridge rise more than 20 km above the surrounding plains. The ridge forms a complex system including isolated peaks, segments of more than 200 km and sections with three near parallel ridges. Within the bright Roncevaux Terra there is no ridge, but there are a series of isolated 10 km high peaks along the equator. The ridge system is heavily cratered, indicating that it is ancient. Unsurprisingly plenty of people rushed to declare it an ancient barricade or marker created by an alien civilization but in truth it appears to have been formed after the crust froze, when the interior of the planet contracted for some reason, squeezing the crust as though in a vice.

[3] [4]


Europa of Jupiter

My favorite moon by far (so far).

It is thought that below the permanently frozen surface of Europa there lies a global subsurface layer of liquid or slushy water kept warm by tidally generated heat. The most dramatic example in support of this theory is "chaos terrain," a common feature on Europa's surface that some interpret as a region where the subsurface ocean melted through the icy crust. This interpretation is extremely controversial. Most geologists who have studied Europa favor what is commonly called the "thick ice" model, in which the ocean has rarely, if ever, directly interacted with the surface. The different models for the estimation of the ice shell thickness give values between a few hundred meters and tens of kilometers.

The best evidence for the so called "thick ice" model is a study of Europa's large craters. The largest craters are surrounded by concentric rings and appear to be filled with relatively flat, fresh ice; based on this and on the calculated amount of heat generated by Europan tides, it is predicted that the outer crust of solid ice is approximately 10–30 km thick, including a ductile "warm ice" layer, which could mean that the liquid ocean underneath may be about 100 km deep, suggesting that Europa's oceans are slightly more than twice the volume of Earth's.

The so called "thin ice" model is a conclusion of the formation of ridges and the flexure of the ice shell due to loading at the surface. With these models the crust of solid ice could be as thin as 200 meters. The "thin ice" model allows regular contact of the liquid interior with the surface through open ridges.

The Galileo orbiter has also found that Europa has a weak magnetic field which varies periodically as Europa passes through Jupiter's massive magnetic field. A likely explanation of this is that there is a large, subsurface ocean of liquid salt water.

This moon intrigues astrobiologists because of its potential for having a “habitable zone.” Life may exist in this ocean, perhaps subsisting in an environment similar to Earth's deep-ocean hydrothermal vents or the Antarctic Lake Vostok (another very interesting subject!).

So far there is no evidence that life exists on Europa but due to the likely presence of liquid water, there are proposals to send a probe there. One proposal calls for a large nuclear powered "Melt Probe" (cryobot) which would melt through the ice until it hit the ocean below. Once it reached the water, it would deploy an autonomous underwater vehicle (hydrobot), which would gather information and send it back to Earth. Both the cryobot and the hydrobot would have to undergo some form of extreme sterilization to prevent it from detecting earth organisms instead of native life and to prevent contamination of the subsurface ocean.

Personally I am very excited about this hopefully happening in my lifetime. For years I’ve dreamt of us discovering some sort of highly intelligent space whales there but am prepared to be disappointed. (Not to be confused with the Acanti)

A "Solar System Exploration Roadmap" published for NASA in 2006 placed exploration of Europa high on its list, and suggested that plans for a "flagship-class" mission to Europa begin by 2008 with hopes to launch by 2015.

[5] [6]


Io of Jupiter

Io is the most volcanically active body in the solar system. As it travels, Jupiter's immense gravity causes “tides” in the solid surface 100 meters high, generating enough heat to give rise to the volcanic activity and drive off any water. Io's volcanoes are driven by hot silicate magma.

(I found a great clip of Io erupting that won't show up on this page for some reason so just click here to see it)



of Saturn

“That’s No Moon”

On a side note, several people are pointing out the catastrophic result of detonating a 500 mile wide object in low orbit above a small moon. This theory is generally referred to as The Endor Holocaust. Of course there are also deniers.


Moons with Moons

Although scientists haven’t identified any yet it is theoretically possible (and therefore highly likely) for moons to have sub-satellites of their own! It depends on the object’s gravitational sphere of influence called its Hill or Roche sphere. Earth, for example, has a Hill sphere of 1.5 million km. The Moon's orbit, at a distance of 0.384 million km from Earth, is comfortably within the gravitational sphere of influence of Earth and it is therefore not at risk of being pulled into an independent orbit around the Sun. The Moon has its own Hill sphere with a radius of 60,000 km (1/6th of the distance between the Earth and Moon) where a sub-satellite could exist. If an object lies outside the Moon's Hill sphere, it will orbit Earth instead of the Moon. The only problem is that the sub-satellite cannot stay in orbit around the Moon indefinitely because of tides.

[8] [9]

Uranus + Shakespeare

“O, swear not by the moon...”

While most of the satellites orbiting other planets take their names from Greek mythology, 25 of Uranus' 27 moons are unique for being named after characters from Shakespeare (including Puck!):

A Midsummer Night's Dream: Titania, Oberon, Puck
The Tempest: Ariel, Miranda*, Caliban, Sycorax, Prospero, Setebos, Stephano, Trinculo, Francisco, Ferdinand
King Lear: Cordelia
Hamlet: Ophelia
The Taming of the Shrew: Bianca
Troilus & Cressida: Cressida
Othello: Desdemona
Romeo and Juliet: Juliet, Mab
The Merchant of Venice: Portia
As You Like It: Rosalind
Much Ado About Nothing: Margaret
The Winter's Tale: Perdita
Timon of Athens: Cupid

* In the fictional Star Trek universe, the crystalline mineral dilithium was first discovered on Miranda in the mid-21st century. The moon said to be the only naturally occurring source of dilithium in the Sol system. This mineral was, a short time later, used to facilitate warp drive propulsion systems which allowed spacecraft to achieve faster-than-light travel.**

** Despite this being the second Star Trek reference in this blog I need to say that I'm really not that big a Star Trek fan, although I do deeply, deeply respect it.

[10] [11] [12]


Earth’s “Second Moon”

Earth has a “second moon,” the asteroid 3753 Cruithne that I’m too lazy and tired to explain.

[13] [14]


As much fun as it is to be reminded of how mind-boggling the universe is it can also leave you feeling cold, alone, and insignificant. On the other hand, most of space is empty and what little remains is cold, boring rock and dust. It's important to remember how fascinating it is to be human, especially a human in 2007 with a high-speed internet connection so you can watch scenes from the fantastic 1974 film adaptation of The Little Prince co-starring Gene Wilder and Bob Fosse!

If my kids don't sound exactly like the Little Prince I'm disowning them. As far as I'm concerned all children should speak with British accents, have perfectly messy hair and smell of peanut butter. Oh, and while we're at it, check out how much Michael Jackson completely ripped-off Bob Fosse in this clip!


I stumbled across this while researching moons and got a little chill/thrill. This was recorded from a live transmission from the Space Shuttle Atlantis on NASA TV. They were using the camera to look for imperfections in the ship's hull before landing the following day when the astronaut reported seeing a non-rigid, cloth-like metallic/reflective object that "didn't look like anything I've ever seen on the outside of the shuttle" passing within 100 feet of the shuttle. According to the YouTube poster the shuttle was traveling at over 17,000 miles an hour and as you can see the objects are easily speeding away. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

(Note: It isn't until the 4:50 mark that the camera is turned to look at the UFOs)

Muslims in Spaaaccceee

Three days ago a Malaysian medical doctor, Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, launched to the International Space Station aboard Soyuz TMA-11 and will return to Earth aboard Soyuz TMA-10 after nine days aboard the station. Since he is a Muslim, and as his time in space will coincide with the last part of Ramadan, the Islamic National Fatwa Council drew up the first comprehensive guidebook for Muslims in space. The 18-page guidebook is titled "Guidelines for Performing Islamic Rites (Ibadah) at the International Space Station,” and details issues such as how to pray in a low-gravity environment, how to locate Mecca from the International Space Station, how to determine prayer times, and issues surrounding fasting. The orbit of the ISS results in one day/night cycle every 90 minutes, so the issues of fasting during Ramadan are also addressed.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a PDF of it.


New Music

Having only recently discovered 4 Brothers Beats, the bulk of my new music has been from them. These are just a few albums of literally hundreds that you can get off their site. Amazing:

[UPDATE 2007.12.5: This site has been made invitation only which pains me to hear but better a few people get to see it rather than be taken down altogether (RIP Oink & TVLinks). You can still follow my download links but that's all.]

Hailing from Guyana and Jamaica, London-based Cymande
developed a subtle and complex , deep funk style influenced by calypso rhythms, jazz, African music, American soul and UK rock of the time.


Ex-wife of Stevie Wonder, they divorced to become friends with Wonder writing and producing her next two albums during his golden age.


This album has my favorite song (this week) by Syreeta, I Love Every Little Thing About You, later performed by Stevie himself (rather than just murmuring in the background) on his Music of My Mind album.


This movie is nuts, the opening scene is one of the most shocking scenes I've ever seen in cinema. Director/star Melvin Van Peebles worked with a nascent Earth Wind and Fire to create this funky soundtrack, cutting and fucking up songs and dialogue to create an almost psychedelic audio collage.


The first time I heard Syl was in a record store. "Is this Al Green?" I naively asked? "It's Syl Johnson," I was refuted. Next song comes on, "OK, but this is Al Green, right?" I asked again. Wrong. I heard that he used the same studio musicians as Al Green, literally walking in after the Reverend had left to record. I'm too lazy to find out if this is true.


See also: Muddy Waters' Electric Mud


Who doesn't love Bill Withers? Even my brother does! His first album with some of my favorite hits.


OK, I don't want to do the hard sell but a funky-ass soundtrack to a 1974 film set in New York City about a hijacked 6 train starring Walter Matthau and name-checked by the Beastie Boys? What does it take? I guess you'll just have to watch the trailer below...

And as long as we're on the subject of subway cars in New York back in the day:

Coming Soon in 2016

I woke up this morning (an hour late) pissed off because I dreamt that I had bought a t-shirt capable of displaying animated patterns only to wake up without it. I was especially angry because it is clearly inevitable that these will one day be in production but I can't think of a technology more far off that I want so badly (except maybe a Star Trek-esque food replicator which could then be tweaked so that you could illegally download meals). Basically what I want is this:

But I don't want to have to settle for this or this.